My 2 year old is so stingy/selfish. How do I break this?

I bought the bulk of her Xmas gifts yesterday and, of course, I had to give her one now. The gift I gave her included two little figurines and a little camping set up and I wanted to play with her and she grabbed up all her little items in her hand and arms and said NO! Mine!” She was so fixated on preventing me from touching her toys that she didn’t even play with them herself.

Is this a phase?

It is probably just a phase, but you can stop it now. Reward good behavior, and ignore the bad. In this instance, you could have said “oh my goodness! I like it when you share your toys.” Then walked away. If she won’t share, then you won’t play with her or give her attention. It may seem like you’re giving her what she wants, but believe me, she wants your attention more than anything!

You could also invite other kids over, if you know anyone else with kids her age. If any of the kids, or your daughter, share their toys, make a big deal about it. “Oh wow! I love the way Jimmy just shared his toy with Jessica!” You could even give them a skittle or something as a reward. Then all the kids will see this as something that gets them both attention and a reward.

Too often we only pay attention to the bad or undesirable behaviors, and ignore the good. If you flip that script, you’ll see really good results. Especially never ever reward a kid for bad behavior (ie. buying the child a toy or candy bar in the store so they’ll stop screaming and throwing a fit). In fact, if you didn’t want to give her a present early, you could have told her she has to wait until Christmas, or given her one early as a reward for good behavior.

Don’t buy toys. Buy toilet paper in bulk!

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