my three year old has been back talking alot lately. he is also starting to be violent towards other children

when told to sit down he will… but only for about two seconds. then he’ll get up and start playing like nothing happened. he takes toys away from other kids. i once watched him throw a toy car into the face of my best friend’s son(ten days older than mine). he calls others names like “retard” and “stupid”. he knows its not nice but doesn’t seem to care. he can be the absolute sweetest kid you have ever seen but the past few weeks he just doesn’t seem to want to. he is overly intelligent. when he was 1 1/2, he was tested… we were told that he had the mental coppasity of a 3 1/2 year old.
i have to wonder if it might have something to do with the fact that me and his mother live separately? or maybe because she had another baby about eight months ago?
any help or advice anybody could give me would be greatly appreciated. i hope someone can help because his mother is about to lose her head and i don’t want that to happen.
i know he knows that what he is doing is bad.

That kind of stuff is extremely common for that age. They should change the saying to “terrible 3′s”.

We have similar issues with our 3.5 year old, but I’ve been talking a lot with “mommy” about getting on the same page with me about discipline. Now that she actually follows-through and is consistent, that terrible behavior around her is significantly decreasing (it has never been an issue around me because this kiddo’ takes me VERY seriously if I say something goes). But, because he knows what to expect around me, he knows what not to do, so he’s a happy, fun, and affectionate guy around me. I wish “mommy” got more of that because she sure does love it when it does come around for her. He’s getting much better with her though, as mentioned.

He’s been getting bad at school too (picking it up from the other 3-yr olds), and we’ve requested that the teachers report his general behavior to us at the end of each day. If he requires discipline or talking to because of something, he knows it’s coming. That has decreased very much as well. No, I don’t give a crap if most of the other kids in his class are doing that junk. He’s not allowed.

It’s tough, but really there are just a handful of things to follow.

* Dicipline (not out of anger, and not beyond the level of offense, and make sure the kid understands what and why)

* Follow-through (the whole *starting a count-down* that never gets to 3, or isn’t followed up with disciplinary action when it does get to 3, is worthless and makes you a literal joke to the kid, not to mention a moron who can’t be taken seriously).

* Consistency (if the kiddo’ expects a response from negative or positive actions, you better believe you’ll see the negative nearly disappearing in a hurry).

* Love (never go off the handle. Discipline must be calculated, calm, and deliberate. It is a critical part of learning in this confusing and testing stage of life. Never bark out in a harsh voice. No learning can come from someone lashing out at the kid).

* Respect (if you treat the kid like he should understand important and some times complicated concepts and trust him with the responsibility, then he will show you results, plus you’ll earn more of his respect in return).

Don’t screw up with the discipline. It is critical.

17 year old senior shih tzu still playing with his toys

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