Toy Knife Fallout
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is this poem good?
its not to be picking on anyone ok its just something i made up hear clearly its MY poem i didnt copy it from anyone or found it on another site its mine ok here it is
MY LIFE
why do i feel so bad?
so alone and sad
now and then i get insecure
from all the pain
im so ashamed
nothing to do but cut and cry
yep just me and i
imma go to hot topic
though people tell me to stop it
in my childhood i played with toys
now i listen to my chemical romance and fallout boys
now its time to cut
theres that feeling in my gut
i look in the mirror and this is what i see
a pitifull lost soul, oh is that me?
enough is enough this has gone too far
i go fix my hair the way it was
i go home and throw away all my clothes and knives plus
today is my last day of being 19
im no longer a bratty teen
i know what i did before was wrong
now i am reformed
i am brave and strong
give your opinions dont worry im a big boy.
Peace.
Dig the topic. I recognize the growth from the beginning to the ending. As a poet, I recomend you not rhyming on this one. You have a heavy topic here and you can do so many great things with it, but when you rhyme, you put yourself in a box because you try and keep that scheme going. I would also recommend that you add more detail, maybe how you cut (not saying its you but the speaker of the poem), what scars if any are made, and are left after you have become brave and strong. Maybe how you manage to keep it a secret. Give a better idea of your age when you began and stopped. You have a great start, great topic because this is relatable to a lot of people. Good job. I would really love to see you grow more in this poem
Hope this was helpful to you
Write on poet
Earth
FALLOUT 3: Toy knife location.
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